The Right Choice?

Today I was informed that things did not look good for my son. He is a high school freshman and this is his first time playing organized football. The season is almost over (THANK GOODNESS….lol). Well, most Friday nights he works as water boy/motivator/equipment carrier for the Varsity team. I think this is great for him. He has a lot of interaction with his teammates and creates a good balance, morale and sense of pride in his sports world. However, there have been a couple of times when he had other obligations (Gye-Nyame). When I mentioned that he had to work tonight for his tribe I was told that “..things don’t look good for him if he continues not to be there when needed. If he’s going to be part of the team he needs to be there.” I stated that we were not aware that being water boy was a prerequisite of playing football and when I said that he worked at the beginning of the season I was told that it was fine as long as the team was given notice. My statement was followed up with a statement to the effect of him being kept as one of the guys for this final part of the season and how he was needed. It’s not about being water boy it’s about helping out the team. I was also told to do what I have to do it was my choice. I was quite taken aback by this. He works hard, is always at practice, supports his teammates, respects everyone around him & is dedicated.

Maybe I don’t understand or maybe I’m misinterpreting what I was told. I get the impression that he has to choose between supporting a sport where the Varsity team does not show up to his Freshman JV games to support him, has the risk of injury & he could be cut from at anytime or supporting a family that will give him a lifetime of skill sets and stability. I felt a little disrespected. As if his choice for “Self-Mastery is not as important as “FOOTBALL.” Not only that but they “NEED” him not because he was chosen special, but because several of his teammates were kicked off the team because they failed to come to practice.

Supporting the team can be done in several ways. For instance when he works at the Fatherhood Town Hall Meeting tonight he will pass out flyers promoting his schools First Annual Holiday Bizarre. It is disturbing to ones self value when they are only valued for what people can comprehend as significant to their immediate person or affiliated group. That is how society is sometimes. Shamar is a “behind the scenes” type of young man. He always has been that type of person. Like me, he does not need to be seen doing something to know how valuable it is to someone. Even when they were little I have always stressed to my sons the importance of following through with whatever they start, give your all, 100%, yada..yada..yada..yada!! However, when that thing does not put you first, you have to choose what’s more important. Or I have to choose their self worth. ; ) I maintain my position as a mother that you owe it to yourself to make you happy and that as a man you reward comes from within first and foremost!!